Returning Home

 

The room is unfamiliar. I do not know how I got here.

I can feel some one thoroughly wiping my body and I cry out aloud. The feeling is strange, although it feels like I have been through this before.

Then I hear someone say, ‘Congratulations! It is a girl!’. Suddenly I stop crying, for I have heard this before. An intense feeling of Deja-vu strikes me hard, and I wait anxiously for what will follow next.

Soft hands cradle me. I know this feeling! These hands have held me before! I groggily open my eyes and see a blurry image of a woman, a woman who feels very much familiar, and like my own. Through the hands that hold me, I can feel her body shaking. She clutches me to herself, her sobs now clear and resounding.

I want to tell her that I know her, that I have seen her before, that she had held me just like this. All that comes out of me is a cry of frustration. I comfort myself in the realization that she is holding me. I momentarily calm down, waiting for what exactly I do not know. But I know that there is more to my role, that there is something that I need to do. I wait as patiently as I can.

Through blurry eyes, I can see the shape of another human being come near me. Something about him is familiar too.

‘Look! Tanu has returned to us!’ The lady holding me says, breaking into fresh sobs. She offers me to the man lingering beside her. I can feel the tremor in his hands as he holds me.

Every inch of my body shouts in happiness. I know him! I try to open my eyes and this time, my vision is slightly clearer than before. A kind face stares at me in awe and wonder, with tears in his eyes. As he clutches me to his chest and sobs, my memory returns in full force.

I have seen him sobbing before. But those were sobs of terrible despair and grief. These are the sobs of pure happiness. I want to comfort him, say something to him. But all that comes out of my mouth is a cooing sound. He laughs through his tears. ‘You want to talk now, sweetheart? There is time for that. There is ample time for that.’ He says in a choked voice.

Words descend upon my consciousness.

Recognition dawns in me. These are my parents.

I know that I exist now. I also remember that I had come to them before. But I didn’t stay long. Just for a few hours until my very brief life was snuffed out. But something in me says that this time I am here to stay.

I want to tell my parents that this time I will not break their hearts. This time I will be there with them. I try to tell them in my own language.

Perhaps they understand, for, my father softly cradles me in his arms and whispers, ‘I know, baby!’ while my mother comfortingly runs her hands over my head.

I bask in the feeling of love and warmth. After a long journey, I have returned to my home.