The Garland Of Orange Flowers

 

“But… I always purchase from you! You should have reserved some stock for me!” Ram exclaimed in dismay.

The flower-vendor sent him an apologetic look. “It is festival-season, Sir. You know how many people buy flowers during this time.”

She specifically asked for a garland of orange-coloured flowers… where will I get them now?? Ram thought in despair.

“Do you know any other flower-vendor from whom I can get the garland?” Ram asked the lady.

“You may want to check at the flower market in the town, Sir.” The lady said and looked around as she saw a bus approaching the nearby stand. “In fact, that bus will drop you right at the entrance of the market.”

Ram thanked her and ran towards the bus. He hopped in just when the bus was about to leave. He sighed in relief.

The seats were all taken so he had to stand.  “The flower market.” He said to the conductor and handed him a ten-rupee note. The conductor smiled and said. “It is 18 kms from here, Sir. One-way ride costs Rs.40.”

I will be shelling out 80 rupees to buy a garland of 20 rupees!? Ram thought in despair and handed the balance amount to the conductor. After standing for more than twenty minutes, he finally got a seat.

“Please let me know when the stop for the flower market comes.” Ram said to the passenger sitting next to him. The old man smiled and said. “It will take at least 40 minutes to reach the stop. You have lot of time.”

“It is that far!?” Ram exclaimed and leaned back on his seat with a tired sigh. “I hope I am able to come back by evening. I need to bring a garland of orange flowers matching her Kanjivaram saree, otherwise I am done for.”

The old man chuckled. “Will she throw a tantrum?”

“No, even worse. Only stony silence will greet me for days. Tantrum seems comparatively easier to deal with. Her silence kills me.” Ram said, a vulnerable expression on his face. The old man patted his arm comfortingly, looking thoroughly amused.

Ram was now used to people mocking him for openly showing his adoration. He did not mind, neither did he try to explain anything. His adoration was his pride that he carried with him.

Finally, the bus halted at the flower market. Ram got down, only to be greeted by a sudden downpour. He shook his head and muttered. “It is not even the rainy season! Today the Universe is all out to test me.”

Braving the heavy downpour, he stepped inside the flower market. For a moment, he felt overwhelmed with the sight and the aroma of just about every type of flower he could imagine. The vendors were hastily trying to cover the flowers and the garlands with tarpaulin sheets to protect them from the rains.

Ram passed from one vendor after another but nowhere did he come across a garland of orange flowers. Feeling more and more frustrated with the passing of every minute, Ram almost gave up when he looked at a stall containing many baskets of flowers. And from one of the baskets, orange colour flashed at him!

Ram rushed towards the stall in elation. “Give me a garland of the orange flowers worth Rs.20!” He said to the vendor. He watched as the lady took out the orange flowers, weighed them and started preparing a garland of them. Ram was soaking wet but nothing mattered to him except for the garland being woven in front of him. After paying for the garland, Ram rushed off, holding the bag of the garland very close to his chest and trying his best to not to get it wet.

He decided to hire an auto to go back to his place. The auto-driver quoted the fare as Rs.250. Ram laughed and got inside the auto. Nothing could dim his happiness now.

He had just about enough time to reach home and have a warm bath. It was evening by the time he went to the temple. He waited outside the sanctum sanctorum along with the other devotees, the garland held securely in a thali in his arms.

As the doors of the sanctum opened, Ram forgot to breathe. For there She was, the Devi, decked in a beautiful orange-coloured Kanjivaram saree, just like She had told him last Friday. In a trance, Ram moved along with the line of devotees. When he reached the priest, he presented the garland to him.

“Ah, Ram, how do you do this? You always bring matching garlands for the Devi. It is as if She tells you what she would be wearing!!” The priest chuckled and gently put the garland over the deity of the Devi.

Like it always happened for Ram, the world around him dissolved and the Devi came to life in front of his eyes, smiling at him benignly.

“Did you like the garland, Ma?” His soul asked the Devi.

“It is beautiful, child. You went to great lengths to get this!” The Devi said, smiling at him naughtily.

“It was You, wasn’t it? The unavailability of the garland at the regular vendor, the lengthy bus ride, the rainfall, the exorbitantly-priced auto-fare… You like to test me.” Ram’s soul chided Her gently.

“I did not do anything!” The Devi said coyly. Then She laughed in sheer happiness. Ram felt like all the wind-chimes in the world had broken out in a rhythm at the same time.

“You know me. I can suffer anything except for silence from You. If You don’t talk to me, then who will, Ma?”

The Devi smiled at him with so much affection that Ram’s eyes teared up. “You are my child. How can I not talk to you?? Do not leave the temple without eating the Prasad. I have arranged for your favourite today. It is kesari.”

As Ram bowed his head in sheer devotion and gratitude, he felt a cool breeze wrap around him. All the tiredness of the day went away. He felt refreshed and invigorated. He knew it was the healing power of the Devi.

“Next Friday, I want jasmine flowers. I will be wearing white Saree.” The Devi told him and he could hear the amusement and naughtiness in Her words.

“As you wish, Ma.” He said.

“Do not forget, you are loved and cared for!” The Devi said these parting words and suddenly, Ram felt the world shift around him as the devotees chanted and bells rang out in the temple. The Devi was now a deity once again. He bowed and prostrated in front of Her.

“Here, this is for you.” The priest presented a large paper-plate containing kesari. Ram smiled and accepted it.

Well, jasmine flowers should not be hard to find… Ram thought in amusement as he sat in his favourite corner inside the temple and relished the Kesari.

The Lawyer's Predicament!

“Will you all please be quiet and give me a minute to think about it??” Nair raised his voice above the din and commotion surrounding him. Miraculously everyone fell quiet.

He shook his head in frustration.

When he had woken up today, the only issue he had in his life was to oversee to an amicable divorce settlement between his client and her husband. And what a ‘settlement’ it had turned out to be!

As a divorce-lawyer, he often came across strange specimens among couple. But the current couple had been the icing on the cake. To start with, it had been a long drawn-out battle of wills and ego. Each of them had harassed the other over dates without sparing a thought for their respective lawyers. And today, finally after eight long months, they both had come face to face for a settlement, only to realize that neither of them wanted to divorce the other and had decided to give their relationship another chance. So long for all the trouble their lawyers went through! It was a sheer testimony to the lawyers’ frustration when the husband’s lawyer and Nair’s rival, Mr.Joseph had folded his hands before Nair respectfully and in apology and marched off after threatening the husband to never contact him again.

As for Nair, he had simply decided to take the day off and had visited the temple near the colony where he lived. There, he had released the longest rant of his life before the deity. He had cursed marriages, he had bad-mouthed couples, he had given a sound verbal bashing to the whole concept of divorce and he had severely humiliated all the lawyers in existence. Then, finally feeling relieved, he had said just one thing to the deity. – ‘You know what would have been preferable to me? If I had the power to understand animals and could act as a lawyer for them! That would be a lot easier than handling humans!’

Little did he know that the deity had taken his rant to heart!

No sooner did he step outside the temple, he came across a cat walking purposefully towards him. The cat had halted before him and had let out a series of ‘meows’. If that was not strange, what happened next gave him a brain-freeze.

“You want me to do what?” He had asked the cat first and then had stood in stunned silence. He had actually understood what the cat was trying to tell him!

The cat again mewed. Nair shook his head. “No. I am a divorce-lawyer for humans. I cannot solve your issue with the pigeons!” And then as if he had realized something, he had exclaimed – “But why am I having this conversation with you!?”

The cat had shrugged. It had actually shrugged. Then it caught hold of his trouser and tried to drag him.

“All right, sheesh, I am coming!” Nair had exclaimed and he had followed the cat to a lane where he had come face-to-face with an epic stand-off.

On one side of the lane were cats, all sitting on their front legs and purring low warnings to the pigeons who were on the opposite side, each bird fluttering its wings threateningly.

The cat which had brought Nair there looked up at him and mewed. Nair nodded his head slowly and said. “Yes, I am looking at it. You were right.”

And that is how Nair had found himself standing in the middle of the lane between the two opposing armies – the Cool Cats on one side (his friend, the cat who had brought him there, had revealed the name of its gang) and the Pigeons’ Pride on the other side (the leader of the pigeons had informed him the name of the gang).

Now after his outburst, both the armies were sitting eerily still and looking at him, seeking justice for them.

“So, Cool Cats, from what I understood, you have been living in this lane since many years and object to the Pigeons’ Pride dirtying it with their droppings.” He told the cats who purred their agreement. He turned towards the pigeons. “You are saying that a family living on this building…” he gestured towards the building on the side of the pigeons “offers cereals and pulses to you by dropping them from the window and this has turned into your eating zone.” The pigeons cooed their approval. One of the pigeons stepped ahead and cooed some more.

“Of course, of course.” Nair nodded in understanding. “You cannot help it, excretion is a natural process. Now, if she…” Nair gestured to the leader of the cats but got interrupted when the leader hissed and mewed something.

“Pardon me?” Nair asked in total stupefaction. The cat purred again.

Nair nodded slowly. “You do not want to encourage gender-discrimination by identifying yourself with any gender and want to be addressed as ‘they/them'. I get it. Perfectly in sync with the current trends.” He raised a trembling finger. “I just need a moment to myself.” He walked out of the lane, whistling casually and when he reached the corner, he looked up at the sky in despair. “I am a lawyer, for God’s sake! How did it come to this!?” He ran a hand over his hair and took several deep breaths. Then, feeling a bit normal, he turned and walked again towards the armies, each of which was looking at him patiently and steadfastly. It amused him thoroughly, the attention that they all had fixed on him.

“Okay, how about you find some other place for yourselves?” He said to the pigeons. “After all, the cats have been here much before you.”

The leader of the pigeon fluttered his wings and cooed.

Nair shook his head. “It is indeed sad that not many feed you now-a-days. How about moving out of the city and heading towards greener… I mean, better grounds for eating?”

The leader of the pigeons fluttered his wings wildly and cooed.

Nair’s jaw dropped. “Well, Sir, please mind your language!” He shook his head still in shock. “I will have to clean my ears with soap for listening to that. Not even humans say this about anyone! Do not forget it is after all your excretory organ that is causing the entire issue!”

For few minutes, silence reigned. Then Nair had a brainwave.

“Got it!” He turned towards the pigeons. “How about you collect the grains one by one but eat it at some other place?”

The leader of the cats mewed.

“Aha, is it? I do not think anyone will mind if the pigeons camp near the statue of the local political leader. As it is, he is a rascal. It would serve his ego right. Getting a statue made when he is still alive and without doing any single thing for the community!” He turned hopefully towards the pigeons. “What say, Pride? Do you agree?”

The pigeons had a small conference among themselves. Then the leader cooed to Nair.

“Then that is solved!” He said happily. But his happiness did not last long. The leader of the pigeon fluttered his wings and cooed fiercely.

“What?!” Nair turned towards the cats in shock. “Is it true?” He ran his gaze over all the cats. One of them raised its paw and licked it casually. “Aha! You are the one! How is it even possible?” Nair shook his head in dismay. “You have a crush on one of the pigeons and are stalking her??”

The cat had the galls to shrug.

That shrug was Nair’s undoing. “Cats do not shrug! Cats do not have crushes on pigeons! It is wrong on so many levels, I cannot even imagine!” He looked around in disbelief. “This is not normal, God! Nothing about this is sane or rational!”

The leader of the pigeon was about to coo but Nair raised a trembling finger. “No! I have reached my breaking point for the day! Not another coo or meow!!” He looked towards the sky and cried out. "I take back what I said. I will take upon humans any time instead of these... these..." He sputtered in anger. "Cats crushing on pigeons?? Shrugging?? Please call back this power, God! I have learnt my lesson and how!"

Nair stormed out of the lane. As he walked, he felt a change come over him. He felt free. On an impulse he went back to the lane where only the cats were loitering now.

“Say something.” He told one of the cats. The cat hissed at him and walked away.

“It is gone! I did not understand anything!” Nair shouted happily and ran out of the lane.

At night, as he lay on his bed, he thought about the strange day he had had. The image of the shrugging cat came to his mind. He shuddered. To divert his attention, he thought about the next case he was about to handle. This time he was representing the husband in the divorce. It had seemed a very simple issue at first. The guy wanted a restraining order for his wife. What complicated the case was the wife too had filed for a restraining order for the guy.

Really, humans were all right. A bit crazy, but they were okay.

The Visit

“What are you saying, Beta? How can this ever feel trouble-some for us?! Don’t worry about a thing; you just get ready and drop the children here. Do not forget anything important, okay! See you in an hour, then!”

Sharma smiled and disconnected the call. Then he jumped out of his seat in panic and called out to his wife. “Rashmi, quick! Start hiding the valuables! The two rascals are about to hit our home in an hour!”

“Hold your horses, old man! What is the matter?” Rashmi walked into the room, looking at Sharma in confusion.

“Divya is about to drop the boys here!” Sharma let it all out in a single breath.

Rashmi’s jaw dropped. “Did you really refer to our grandsons as rascals??” She asked in blatant disbelief.

“That is a far decent term than what I want to refer to them as. One six-year old boy wreaks enough havoc when let loose on his grandparents. The twins are double the destruction! Do you remember what happened in the last visit?” Sharma said, already trying to hide the remote of the television and the charger of his mobile.

“It happened by mistake, I am sure.” Rashmi said, biting her cheek in amusement.

He glared at her. “They used the remote as a bat and my portable wi-fi router as ball. That cannot be called as mistake. Then there was the whole fiasco with the cake.”

“Which cake?” Rashmi asked even though she knew very well.

“Did you see the way in which they ate the cake?? Who dunks their entire face into the cake and ploughs through it?? Hooligans, they do that!”

Rashmi stifled her laughter.

“And I cannot forget the way they raided my wardrobe and got hold of my precious ties! And what do they do with them?? They literally looped the ties into each other to see how long a chain they can create, in the process, creating a mess I have never seen the likes of! Ten minutes, that is all I took a nap for. Ten short minutes, and the havoc they created! And don’t even get started on the dog!”

Rashmi shuddered here. The kids had brought home a stray puppy ‘to feed it’. The mess they created and the trouble Rashmi and Sharma went through to get the puppy out of the house was something that was etched into her memory forever.

“We need to buy some cream-biscuits for the kids.” Rashmi reminded him.

“Absolutely not! Last time we gave them that, they licked the cream and then force-fed the remaining bland parts of the biscuit to me! Every time I opened my mouth to refuse, one of the twins would shove a clean-licked biscuit into it! I am a retired General, for God’s sake; I deserve some dignity!”

Rashmi made a hasty retreat into the kitchen to restrain herself from laughing. A man indeed needed some dignity!

“I will just take a quick walk around the complex. I need to take in some calm before the storm strikes.” Sharma muttered and left the home.

He returned fifteen minutes later, a large bag in his hands. He set it on the table. “I have brought samosas and vada. The little tykes seemed to like them when I had brought these during one of their visits.”

Rashmi smiled at him gently. “They are not coming. Divya had just called. Minutes before she was about to leave, Shyam came home, it seems. The kids want a guys’ day at home with their dad now.”

“Oh.” Sharma said, looking lost. He looked at the bag and took a deep breath. “I guess we will have these for snacks later. At least we can spend a peaceful day at home.” He muttered in a low voice as he took out the remote from its hiding place and switched on the television. Rashmi found him changing the channels mindlessly without seeing anything in particular. She went and sat beside him.

“Kids will be kids, you see. If they don’t do any mischief, then who will do?” He said softly. “So what if their dad came home, they could have come for at least half an hour or so. Why say that they are coming and then change the decision?”

“Do you want to have a video-chat with them?” Rashmi asked him. He shrugged and kept changing channels. She shook her head with a smile and called up at Shyam’s number.

“Ma, how are you? I am sorry the kids decided to stay home at the last minute. Divya just left for her office.” Shyam said.

“I am fine Beta. Where are the kids?” She asked.

Sharma flung the remote aside and shifted near her to see the video.

“Naanu! Arnav just pulled my hair!” Amitav said, shouting into the phone.

“Where is he? Why do you guys always fight?” Sharma asked, sounding much more spirited now that he had seen his grandsons.

“Amitav forgot to mention that he punched me on the nose!” The other twin Arnav piped in.

It was simply delightful to look at the identical twins. From the mutinous expressions on their faces to their disheveled hair, they looked every inch a chaotic duo.

“All right boys, stop fighting. Do not give a tough time to your father.” Sharma chided them gently.

“I am not done! I am going to pulverize you!” Arnav shouted at Amitav and handed over the phone to Shyam before chasing after his twin.

Shyam gave a tired smile. “Papa, how are you?”

Sharma laughed slightly. “I should be the one asking you this. Listen, it will be too much to handle them all on your own the whole day. Bring them here after some time. You will get some much-needed respite and the boys can blow off some steam.”

“Are you sure it is no trouble to you, Papa? It does seem overwhelming – handling the two for the whole day.” Shyam said uncertainly yet there was a hopeful note in his voice.

“Kids will be kids. If they do not do any mischief, then who will?” Sharma looked sheepishly at Rashmi who smirked at him. “Bring them here. We will be waiting for them.”

“All right, Papa. I will bring them in an hour.” Shyam said, his relief evident in his tone and disconnected the call.

Shyam grinned at Rashmi. “Hide the valuables, the little rascals are coming here in an hour.”