“I
cannot believe this! Yesterday you were all in love with me, and today you are
saying you want to break up with me?! I do not understand this, Suman!” Akash
ran his fingers through his hair in sheer frustration.
Beside
him, Suman sat rigid straight, as if the process of steadying her heart had
somehow hardened her posture too. “I still love you, Akash, and I always will.
I have been thinking about breaking up with you since a long time but every
time we meet, my resolve melts in the love and attraction that you shower upon
me. At the end of every day, I regret that I did not break up with you.”
“If
you think you are clarifying things, you aren’t. This is the most messed up
explanation that I have ever heard.”
Suman
shook her head. “I feel suffocated, Akash. I feel like I am not myself when I
am with you.”
“Then
be yourself! I never wished for you to be something that you are not. I do not understand how I made you feel
suffocated. I love you, and I show you in every possible way I can. I don’t… I
am just repeating myself.” He pinched his nose to calm down the turmoil in his
heart and mind. Taking a deep breath, he spoke in a low voice. “Suman, is there
anything I can do that will change your decision to break up with me?”
A
sob escaped her. “No, it is all on me. Just do not make it any more difficult
for me and let me go.”
She
looked at Akash and saw him nod in resignation. God, that hurt, that nod full
of defeat, resignation and despair. She knew she would never forget this
moment. She knew that her own heart was breaking as badly as his. “I love you.
I really do. I just… I am someone else, Akash, not the one that you perceive me
around you. I hope someday you will understand.” She rose from her seat in the
bench. “Bye and take care.”
Akash
sat in silence and watched her leave the park. Children were playing in the
park at one end. Adults were walking, exchanging pleasantries and generally
enjoying an evening that looked pleasant. However, for Akash, it had ended
badly. He stared at nothingness as the full impact of the situation hit him.
The
love of his life had walked out, and he was alone now, nursing a really painful
heartbreak.
At some corner of the
restaurant, a glass shattered and brought Akash to the present. He sipped his
third cup of coffee, getting impatient by the minute. Some people won’t change ever, he mused. It was half-an-hour past
the agreed time, and she was yet to make an appearance.
Typical
of her, Akash thought. She
always liked to make an entrance.
And she did. Something
inside him triggered when he registered her presence at the entrance of the
restaurant. Akash looked in amusement as several eyes turned to her direction,
taking in her impressive personality. At 5’6”, Suman cut a striking figure,
dressed to kill. Purple kurta bordered with golden sequins, a golden palazzo,
matching accessories in her ears, neck and hands and a purse that screamed its
brand. Her hair, left to its natural grey colour, fell in delicate curls around
her, reaching to her waist. She had probably tried to hold her hair together
with a clip, but as usual, several rogue strands had found their way out and
were now tucked behind her ear.
It amazed and slightly
disturbed Akash that he still knew her well after all these years. He shouldn’t.
“I am sorry, I…”
“…got held up.” Akash
finished her line and grinned. She shook her head in amusement as she tried to
hide her smile unsuccessfully.
“You always knew me too
much for your own good.” She said as she placed her bag beside her and urgently
reached for the menu. “I am starving.”
“I took a chance and
ordered Punjabi Thali for you. I assume that is still your favourite. If you
wish I can order something else.”
“No, that’s exactly
what I would have ordered!” She closed the menu with flourish and flung it
aside. Folding her hands on the table, she looked at him and grinned. “So, how
have you been? Long time no see!”
At that moment, she
reminded him of the girl that he had fallen in love with. Years – 30, to be
exact – flew by as he took in the girl who had left him shattered, the girl,
now a woman in her sixties. He shook his head. Nostalgic trips were a waste of
time and energy.
“I am fine, except for
the shock that my daughter subjected me to.” He chuckled drily. “When she said
she wanted me to meet the mother of the boy she was going to marry you were the
last person I expected to meet.”
“And I never even
expected that we would ever meet again! But time has a funny way of proving us
wrong. Even I was shocked when our paths crossed again, this time, led by our
offspring! But they are in love, and I do not want to cause any problem for
them.”
He nodded. “About your
husband…”
“Left the mortal world
three years ago. A sudden heart-attack that none of us could ever foresee. But
I am sure Niharika has already informed you about him.”
“Yes, she did. I am
sorry about your husband. I and my wife are divorced. Couldn’t agree on things.
We mutually parted ways when Niharika was three. We both share a better
relationship as friends and co-parented Nihar. I am still in good terms with my
ex-wife and meet her regularly. And that’s all there is to me!”
Suman shook her head
with a smile. “Nope, there is more to you! But that is a topic for another
day.” She paused when the server brought in their orders.
“I just wanted us to
meet and resolve any unsolved issues that might be there between us.” She said,
sobering up now.
He linked his fingers
and looked outside the restaurant. Unsolved
issues… If you knew, Suman, that when you broke up with me, you shattered my
whole life. I wish I could tell you that you changed me into someone extremely
cynical about life. I wish I could tell you that you destroyed the concept of
love for me forever. I opted for an arranged marriage to appease my parents.
But I could never love my wife the way I loved you. Probably it showed in my
relationship with her. May be she realized subtly that I will never be as
present for her as I should be. He inhaled deeply. How do I tell you that there was never anyone else for me after you?
“We are cool, at least
from my end.” He smiled and said, completely ignoring the turmoil in his mind.
@@@
You cannot fool me. Suman
thought, a dull weight settling on her heart. Leaving
you was the toughest thing I have
ever done. I loved you, and I knew how much you loved me. But the love started
suffocating me after a while. I wanted to be free and unbound. I wanted to be
myself without worrying that I would hurt you. It is ironic that I found such a
love in my husband and lost him too. It seems I lost two people who loved me
sincerely.
“Whew!
And I thought you must be dreading that I would be an awful mother-in-law to
Niharika!” She teased him, trying to get her mind out of the nostalgic guilt
trip it had ventured into. Whatever was done, was done. Now they had a future
to look forward to, especially for their kids.
Akash
lifted one eyebrow sardonically. That gesture was so familiar and endearing
that Suman felt her breath catch for a moment as it reminded her of a boy who had
loved her with all his heart and soul, and whom she had left, shattering his heart
and hers as well. He had aged gracefully, with an impressive posture and a face
that showed only kindness and peace.
“I
have trained her to not to take any nonsense from anyone and to be her own firm
self. I am not worried for her. She knows to take up her stand and to own it.”
He added gently. “That doesn’t mean she will go out of her way to make trouble
for you. She is the most wonderful, humble and polite girl you will ever come
across. She also knows to not to bow down to unnecessary strife and can hold
her own in any situation.”
“Oh
my!” Suman laughed, amazed at the emotion in his voice. He was clearly devoted
to his girl. “I was just teasing, Akash! Ease up. I have no plans to interfere
in my son’s life in any way. Although, after your moving tribute to your
daughter, I feel like adding something about my son too.” She sat up straighter
and Akash saw a glimpse of pride reflecting in her eyes. “I have raised him to
be a gentleman and he is, every inch.”
Akash
nodded and smiled. “He made a terrific impression on me the first time I met
him. I trust him already.”
“And I already love your girl! Finally, finally, I met someone who knows
everything about being a reader! I am sure we are going to be BFFs. I cannot
wait to go for book-shopping with her.”
Akash
shook his head and smiled. “You, your books and your shopping!”
They
exchanged a long look, and in that look, years of heartbreak, despair and
frustration faded in the background for a while, and made place for friendship
and mutual understanding. They suddenly grinned at each other, feeling the
shift of emotions and their relationship.
“So,
you were a web-designer. Really? And I thought you would be trying your hand at
movies!” Akash teased her.
“Huh!
And you ended up as a professor, while I imagined that you would join some
biker gang and be a part of the underworld!”
“Well,
if I am a part of the underworld, I wouldn’t be broadcasting it to everyone,
especially you. I know you have a network that rivals all the collective media
channels in the world.”
“Hey!”
She exclaimed. He grinned at her reaction.
@@@
“I did everything I could, for
her.” Akash laid his head on his mother’s lap, trying really hard to not to
cry. His mother’s fingers soothingly running over his hair made it all the more
difficult for him to control his emotions.
“I know, son. I know you loved her
with all your heart. Let her go now. If your love for her is sincere and
honest, fate will find a way to place her in your life again.” His mother said
calmly.
He lifted his head and looked at
her. “Can this happen really?” At this point, he was hanging to every thin
thread and straw of hope that he could find.
His mother smiled and laid her palm
on his cheek. “Yes, it is possible. But you may not feel the same about her at
that time! Anything can happen anytime son. Have faith and move on.”
@@@
“Where
did you just go?” Suman asked him in amusement.
He
smiled and shook his head. Well, his mother had been right. Here Suman was, not
exactly how he had wished and longed for, many years ago, but still an
undeniable presence in his life. The former – exes, now bound in the
relationship of being in-laws to their respective kids, embarked on a new journey
of friendship and somewhere in the universe, the pain that had been left behind
because of two hearts breaking, faded away.
